A Brief Respite
by Lady Anya Black
Summary: Post-game Light/Lebreau. "Poor pillow. Had it been a living thing, I'd have squeezed the ever-loving-life out of it." Some ending plot details. If you liked it, please review.
1. Restless

**Heeeeey FFXIII fans. I've got something weird for you this time. I got a shot of inspiration to write something from my favorite under-appreciated side character, Lebreau. This takes place post-game, so there are a few non-detailed references to the end of the game. If you like this, please review it. I haven't decided yet if I want to continue this.**

**Also, I highly recommend listening to the song "A Brief Respite" from the FFXIII soundtrack. If you don't already have the soundtrack, here's a youtube link to the song: **

**/watch?v=1Ys5f3S9Xyc**

**Enjoy!**

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I'd never seen anything like her before--especially in such a state. Her body glistened in the afterglow where the thin sheet wasn't covering her. Her light pink hair was a beautiful mess around her head, and she had this... _peaceful_ look on her face.

I'd spent the night with the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen--doing things I never imagined I'd have the priviledge to do. I knew what I had gotten into, and I knew what would happen when it was over. Lightning was a soldier, and she wasn't particularly fond of NORA. Why she choose me to keep her company that night, I didn't know--I was happy enough just listening to her talk while I served her drinks. I don't know why I let things escalate, especially since she was inebriated beyond reasoning.

Perhaps I felt bad for her.

Perhaps I admired her.

_Or maybe I just wanted her._

As I lay there in her bed next to her, I clung to one of her pillows, I couldn't help but breath in her scent. Everything about her had become so intoxicating to me. Her voice, her smell, the way she carried herself, her body, but most of all, _her smile._ I'd become almost obsessed with her in my own way. Whenever I would be training with Nora, I'd imagine she was guiding me across the battlefield, steadying my rifle as I take aim, protecting me from harm.

I covered my face with the pillow as the embarrassing thoughts flooded my mind. _God, I'm such a dork,_ I kept repeating in my head, _I shouldn't have agreed to this. I was trying to __**break **__my stupid fascination with her..._

I could feel her shift to my left. I peeked out from under the pillow to see her smiling peacefully, almost as if she were smiling at me. My face began to feel hot the more I looked at her. My hands had touched that soft skin. I had traced her slim feminine figure with my hands, and touched... Oh _Eden_, I had touched as much of her as I could, as if hoping her perfection would rub off on me somehow.

_Nothing past this night,_ I reminded myself, _Things will go back to the way they were, and we'll pretend this... whole mess... never... happened...._

_No. No, Lebreau. You __**knew**__ what you were getting into. You knew she had one too many to drink. You knew she was just looking for a good time... Nothing more._

My eyes began feeling hotter than my cheeks, and I squeezed them shut. Now wasn't the time to get emotional! I'd just spent the greatest night of my life in the bed of the woman I admired most! The woman I was practically in love with!

_Who am I kidding?_ She was the woman I was in love with. Not "practically."

Pulling the pillow away from my face, I steeled myself with new resilience to... to... go back to normal? How does one act after something like this, I wondered. Do you pretend nothing happened? Do you bring it up casually in conversation? No, that would be too awkward. Perhaps when we're alone, I could bring it up and... No. The last thing someone like Lightning would want is a relationship with someone like me. I'm a part of Nora, she... well... destroyed Fal'Cie in her spare time.

Ok, maybe that's an exaggeration, but the point remains that Lightning would want someone who can challenge her, right?

Or... does she?

Does she want to anyone _at all?_

_Dammit woman! Why do you have to be so complicated!_

I sighed and sat up with the pillow still held tightly to my bare chest.

_Get dressed. Go home._

Cue doubt.

_But what if she's disappointed to see me gone?_

Cue denial.

_What would she POSSIBLY have to be disappointed about? If she's disappointed about anything, it'd either be my preformance, or the fact that she did anything with me in the first place!_

Cue self-loathing.

_What was I thinking? I should have just called her a cab and got her home safe and quiet. Stupid, stupid, stupid, STUPID._

And finally, paranoia.

_Oh no. What if she hates me for this? What if she never comes to the bar again and... and..._

Poor pillow. Had it been a living thing, I'd have squeezed the ever-loving-life out of it.

_Maybe I should just lay back down, wake up, and leave a note before I go..._

Silly, Lebreau, you couldn't get any sleep even if you _tried._

_I hate this. I love her, and I hate that. Why her of all people? She's... a soldier! And she hates NORA... Ok, so NORA has nothing to do with this. But... but..._

Light let out a soft moan in her sleep as she shifted onto her back again.

_... If I could just... touch her one last time..._

I reached to brush a strand of hair out of her face, inches from touching her, I hesitated, but finally made contact. I lightly brushed her cheek as I pushed the hair away from her eye. She seemed to have taken notice unconciously because she grabbed my hand and wouldn't let go.

_AHH. WHAT DO I DO?_ I screamed internally. My body temperature shot up, my face grew hot and I forced myself to lay down, my free hand still gripping the pillow to my chest. I turned my head so I was facing her, and watched her peaceful face for _just a bit longer_ before finally reaching my conclusion.

I needed to leave.

I slowly and regretfully pulled my hand from her's and sat up with my back to her. Most of my clothes were on the floor near the bed, or on the nightstand... or on the lamp. I quickly grabbed my underclothes from the lampshade, causing the lamp to stir and make noise. I cringed and quickly tried to slide my underwear on without waking her--but to no avail.

"What're you still doing up?" came the tired mumble. I froze in place, underwear barely past my knees.

"Um..."

"Go to sleep," she muttered before rolling over.

_Crap..._

Despite my thoughts at that moment, I was secretly somewhat pleased with the result. She wanted me to stay--even if it was still the alcohol talking. Should she ask why I was there in the morning, I'd at least have an honest explanation... That is if I could form coherent sentences; There was no way I was getting any sleep that night.

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**Please review!**


	2. Recollect

**Despite the limited audience this fanfic may be attracting, I felt driven to continue it. Hope you enjoy the early update!**

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With the destruction of the Fal'Cie and the settlement of Gran Pulse, a _lot_ was different. Over a year had passed, and the of number people working to adjust with the changes had caused things to acclimate with ease. The biggest advancement had to be a sort of military base _slash_ civillian colony around the base of New Cocoon. It was here that NORA's "headquarters" was placed, along with a Guardian Corp. branch.

Our so called "HQ" was in fact, the little bar close to the crystal tower. It was a multipurpose building with a bar in the front, meeting room in the back, and a shared apartment for me, Maqui and Yuj. The flat was not much more than a large studio with a kitchen, mattresses on the floor, an old vid screen, and a desk. Not much, but it was home.

Maqui with his messy blonde hair and goggles burst into the bar--the one area he wasn't allowed in yet. "Lebreau!" he yelled, looking somewhat frantic. He was the type to make mountains out of molehills. It was probably nothing.

"Maqui," I started, using my warning tone, "How many times does Snow need to beat it into your head that you're not allowed in the bar until you--"

"No! You don't understand-"

"MAQUI!" I yelled, pointing at the door with a stern look on my face. At least I hoped it was stern. Nobody seemed to take me seriously. Heck, even I didn't take me seriously half the time.

"I'm trying to warn you, that-"

I grabbed a dirty rag from the small sink behind the bar and made a threatening motion to throw it at his head, "Get out of here, mophead!" Snow warned from his table close to the door--I hadn't even notice him come in.

He huffed at both Snow and I, "Fine! You're on your own!" He turned on his heel and stormed out of the bar. I gave Snow a thankful grin, and he raised his drink in response before taking a sip. _Wait... I served him too? Where is my head today?_

_I've got more troublesome things on my mind,_ I reflected, thinking about that day's morning. I happened to fall asleep shortly after the sun had begun to rise, but was quickly awakened by a stirring Lightning on the other side of the bed. I had rushed to get my clothing on as quickly and quietly as I could. Though, I wasn't completely sure what I was running from. Lightning was known to bring down her wrath on people like Snow and Gadot when they got out of line... or at least mildly irritated her. I hadn't _really_ done anything bad, right?

_So why do I feel like I commit some kind of unholy act last night? _I shook away the thought and turned back to the wall opposite the bar to organize the bottles. The night's rush was over, and most of the people who were coming in were more interested in talking to friends or watching the vid screen.

_dingaling! _Someone entered the bar.

"Hey sis!" I heard Snow call with a hearty chuckle, "Excited for the big day?"

I froze. There was only one person Snow could or would call "sis." I dropped the bottle of liquor on the counter and fumbled with it as it tried to roll to the ground. I managed to catch it sideways, but a large portion had spilled out. In the back of my head I knew I was chiding myself for being so careless, but the other 99% of my mind was spinning with thoughts of the new arrival in my bar.

_What the hell do I say?_ I wondered in a panic as I tried to soak up some of the alcohol with the dishrag.

_Just relax, Lebreau, act like nothing happened._

_No way, I can't just act like nothing happened. It'll be written all over my face!_

_Shut up! Just serve her drinks as usual--buy her one even._

_Wait no, then she'll think I'm hitting on her_

_Oh god oh god oh god oh god what do I do what do I do_

"-breau?"

_She's trying to get your attention! Forget the spill! Stand up you, idiot!_

I quickly rose, nearly flinging the rag in the air in the process. _God_, my face must have been red. I tried to smile casually at her as I spoke, but I could feel my voice shake,

"Ye-es, Light? Can I get you something to drink? It's on the house.. er.. if you want, I mean... uh..."

_SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. YOU'RE STAMMERING LIKE A BUFOON._

She calmly took her seat at the bar, and I nervously wrung the rag in my hand, getting the alcohol all over my shoes and skirt. _Smooth._

I panicked and tried to wipe the liquor from my skirt... with the same alcohol drenched rag. _Even smoother._

Giving up, I threw the rag into the sink and directed my attention to the solider. She was staring at me with a slightly confused, maybe even _concerned_ look on her face.

"Are you... ok?" she asked quietly.

"Never better!" I said, sounding a bit forced and a bit louder than I intended.

She gave me a look that seemed to say, _I'll leave it at that, but I don't buy it for a second._

_Am I really that transparent?_ I thought to myself in distress.

"What.. What can I get you?" I asked, sounding a bit calmer.

"You know what I like," she said, then noticed what she said and looked away, her face growing a light pink. _So cute..._

_Snap out of it, Lebreau! Now isn't the time!_

I shook it off and redirected my attention to pouring her favorite drink. With the combination of flavors, the drink turned the same shade of pink as her hair. I poured the drink out of the strainer into a tall glass in front of her and put on my best "casual bartender look." Whatever the hell that was. Having never "tested" the look before in the mirror, I could only assumed I looked like a dope in front of the calm and collected soldier.

"Thanks," Light said quietly... too quiet. Like she was uncomfortable around me. That thought killed me a little. The last thing I wanted was for her to close herself off from me.

_I should have just taken her home and left it at that. Stupid, stupid, stupid... stupid..._

We probably spent close to half an hour in silence. She sipped on her drink and would glance up at the vid every few minutes, but would keep her eyes on the bar or her drink for the most part. I, on the other hand idly cleaned glasses as a bartender should, and served a grand total of _one_. 20 minutes in, Snow had fallen asleep in his chair when all the other customers had left. Leaving Lightning, the vid, and I to suffer alone.

Once her glass was empty, I looked at her, "Want another-"

"We should talk," she said abruptly, keeping her eyes focused on the empty glass.

"Um. Yeah, sure. You can.. wait no..."

"What is it?" She asked, seeming a bit flustered.

"Oh, I um, I was going to suggest going upstairs, but I'm sure Yuj and Maqui are asleep by now..."

Her brow furrowed, "Yuj and Maqui...?"

"Mophead and pretty boy."

"Ah."

I fiddled with the rag, too nervous to suggest going back to her place. We both knew what happened last time I was at her apartment.

"We could," She looked away and rubbed the back of her neck, "go back to my place." She suggested ruefully.

Those words made my heart rate jumped so high I thought it would pound right out of my chest--even the loud beat of my pulse in my ear was starting to deafen me.

"I get it if you don't though," She added sheepishly.

_Is Light... nervous?_ I wondered, _No... No way._

"That'd be fine," I said with a nod, trying my best to seem at ease despite the pounding in my chest.

I reached up to turn the vid off, causing my shirt to become untucked and reveal my lower back and midriff. _God, I hate being so short._

I turned around and noticed for just a brief instance, Lightning had been staring at that particular area, and was... biting her lip?

_Wha... what the hell was that all about?_

I looked away as if not to notice and fussed with my shirt before grabbing the keys from under the bar. I stepped around the bar and lead the way out of the building, tossing the keys at the sleeping Snow, "Lock up before you leave!" I told him. He grumbled, grabbed the keys off his chest and rubbed his eyes, "Don't be out too late, Serah," he muttered sleepily. I noticed Light give him an odd look before stepping outside.

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All kinds of complexes stood around the crystal tower. Some looked almost as if they had been torn from Cocoon and replaced on Gran Pulse. The speed that the buildings had been erected was alarming--it was definitely a testimony to the power of the humans without the Fal'Cie.

Lightning's cruiser was a simple military grade bike type. When I had driven the two of us on it the night before... it was quite the ride. Thankfully, it's owner didn't seem to mind. This time around, I was happy to wrap my arms around her as she drove the vehicle safely to her apartment.

We continued to remain silent as she unlocked and opened the door. As we entered, I was reminded of when I first stepped foot inside. I couldn't locate the lightswitch at first--not that it mattered. The drunk soldier seemed more intent on keeping my eyes on her rather than my surroundings. And she was _damn _good at holding my attention when she wanted it.

Before I could finish that thought, the room was lit up. The main room was about the size of the apartment shared by Yuj, Maqui and I. It wasn't extravagant by any means, but I could kind of tell Lightning wasn't the one who decorated it. She seemed like the type of person to use darker colors, but this room was very light with pastel colors--mostly pink. Unless there was a secret girlier side to Light I hadn't seen yet.

On the same wall as the door was her vid screen, across from that was her soft white couch with light pink accent pillows, and even a light blue throw blanket over the back. Behind the couch was the kitchen with a small table with two chairs. It had a small vase with a flower in it that looked like it had been picked recently. The kitchen was basic, with all the needed amenities, and not much more. Alcohol bottles could be seen around the garbage. This woman _really_ enjoyed drinking...

To the right of the entrance were two doors. The one near the kitchen lead to the bathroom, as I recalled, and the other to the... _guh..._ bedroom.

"Have a seat," she offered quietly, motioning to the couch as she stepped around it in favor of the kitchen. She opened the fridge, and I noticed it was remarkably bare save for a few bottles, and some kind of leftovers in a couple containers. I took my seat, sitting up straight with my hands neatly in my lap. I suddenly felt like I was reliving the previous night's events.

_"Want something," Light paused, steadying herself with the fridge door, "something to drink?"_

_I stood nervously at the side of the couch. She'd been using me as support up until that moment, and I was still feeling a bit frazzled. I forced a smile, "What do you have?" I asked. In response, she brought out a large, half empty bottle of something that looked like hard liquor. She shook it back and forth with a stupid grin on her face. At first, I protested, telling her I still needed to get home. But she argued, saying it was too late and I should spend the night... So, I "humored" her. She grabbed two glasses from her cupboard and poured two _really_ full glasses. Nervous that she would spill all over, I quickly went to grab them. She snickered as I insisted on taking them to the couch and made a quip at her apparent inability to keep _herself_ from spilling over._

_The following hours were spent drinking, talking, reminiscing, poking fun at Snow and the rest of the boys of NORA. Then talk became a bit more serious. She told me about her time on Gran Pulse, she even told me she would like to show me a place called "Oerba" someday._

"Hey."

Her voice broke me from my abstraction and I quickly looked back at her.

"Want, uh... something to drink?" she asked.

"What do you have?" I asked, _as if I didn't already know this song and dance._

To my relief, she passed over the alcohol, "Water, I guess."

She poured us both glasses and took a seat on the couch. She handed me my glass and seemed a bit more relaxed now that she was at home. She took a drink of her water and a look of irritation came over her. "Can't believe that lumox," she murmured as she set her glass on the coffee table. I gave her a confused sideways glance as I took a drink from my own glass and she simply shook her head.

"Calling me sis, asking me if I'm excited for the big day," she explained. Then I remembered Serah's wedding day. It was less than a month away.

"Still not comfortable around him?" I asked, finding myself relaxing enough to lean into the couch. I help my glass in both hands on my lap as I listened to her talk. She told me about her experience with him during their time as l'cie. She moved from topic to topic, carefully steering away from anything that would remind her of her two fallen comrades. Perhaps she wasn't ready to talk about what had happened between us. Whatever the case, I was happy to just listen to her talk. Even if it meant dancing around the subject forever until the two of us simply forgot it happened. At least I _thought_ I would be happy with that.

_So why does it feel like my heart is breaking? _I wondered. I hid my frown and redirected my attention to Light's stories. It felt good to hear her opening up to me, but I couldn't shake this strange feeling. It was as if I had a part of Light in my hands, a memory shared between the two of us, and it was being taken from me. What's worse is that it felt like the part of me that had become her's, would never return--leaving me broken.

_Don't be ridiculous, _I assured myself, unintentionally tuning Light out with my own thoughts again, _It was one night. Why are you letting it get to you?_ I smirked sadly to myself, _I'm such a dork..._

I suddenly noticed Light had grown quiet. I looked back up at her, and she looked away from me. She seemed to be reflecting on her own thoughts. _What are you thinking, Light? _was all I could wonder as I watched her features grow soft, and almost... sad.

She looked back up at me, still somewhat avoiding my eyes, "Mind if I have something a bit harder to drink?"

I smiled and shook my head despite myself. I would just have to maintain some self control this time.

She stood and stretched before turning to the kitchen with her glass. Contemplating for a moment, I stood and followed with my own glass. She raised en eyebrow at me and I offered her my glass with a wry smile, "A little wouldn't hurt."

If only I knew just how much it _would_ hurt.

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**_I'm so gay for cliffhangers._**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	3. Remain

At the side of the bed, I stood at the window, peeking through the curtains at the dim lights dotting the colony. Nothing but a thin white sheet covered me as I stared outside, not really focusing on anything but the thoughts circling my head. She, on the other hand, was watching me intently. She sat on her knees on "her side" of the bed, naked, but holding a pillow for modesty sake. Not that it mattered. We were way past modest at this point.

_Idiot. It was one thing when there was alcohol running through my system... this is... What is this? What am I doing? Why is she letting me do this?_

I tried running my fingers through my after-sex hair, managing to only get them tangled in the mess. _Whatever._

At that moment, I wished I had gallons of alcohol in my system. I couldn't bring myself to look back at her. The look on her face when I got out of the bed made me ache--she looked lost, confused, heartbroken. Despite the small amount of alcohol motivating us, we both knew what we were getting into. So why did I feel like some kind of predator? And why did she look so wounded.

God_dammit._

"Light..." She called quietly, I quickly pushed away my frustration and looked at her. When my eyes fell on her, she looked down at the bed as if avoiding my gaze. _Don't do this to me._

"You should get some sleep," she gently urged.

I looked away for a moment and nodded, "Yeah."

"I'll just..." she looked around the bed, trying to locate her clothing. In heat of the moment, we'd flung our articles of clothing in every direction. She backed off the bed, still holding the pillow over her. "I'll get my stuff and catch a ride home."

_Tell her not to go._

"Alright," I muttered.

_You idiot, take it back._

She found her panties at the edge of the bed and tossed the pillow back as she dressed.

_Tell her not to go._

"Um..."

She paused and looked up at me as she searched for her bra in a nearby pile of clothes.

_Just tell her to stay._

"You don't..."

_What are you afraid of?_

I cringed and she gave me a concerned look, "Is something wrong..?" she asked.

"Don't." I said emphatically, unable to put together a full sentence.

She gave me a confused look, then seemed to debate it in her mind. She looked down, then hesitantly back at me, "You're sure?"

I gave her a curt nod, "Stay."

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_**Earlier**_

The night had progressed easier than expected. I figured we would spend most of the night dodging the subject, but with enough alcohol in her, Lebreau could be rather insistant. I'd finished telling her the story about the first time I'd met Snow, and what a fool he'd made of himself when _the subject_ finally reared it's ugly head.

"What happened yesterday?" She asked with a giggle before taking another drink from her second glass.

Despite how red my face may have been from the alcohol, I could feel it growing hotter, "Honestly, I don't know. You certainly left in a hurry though," I replied, casting her a confused glance.

In response, her face too grew redder and she held the glass on her lap, rolling it back and forth in her palms. "I... don't really have an explanation for that... I was scared you would hate me if you remembered what happened."

I smirked and grabbed the third bottle I'd pulled from my fridge to finish it off. "I didn't forget in the first place," I corrected.

She looked down at her glass and stopped fidgetting with it, "Still..."

"I don't think I could hate you, Lebreau," I clarified, trying to chase away her frown.

She gave me a half-assed smile and shrugged, "Even if you say that..."

I sighed and set the bottle down on the coffee table again. I lounged back, letting both arms drape over the back of the couch, "You're the only person who'll listen to me," I stated.

That managed to bring a smile to her face, but she continued to stare down at her drink, "I know if you gave others the chance, they'd be happy to listen to your stories, Light."

I shook my head, "I'm not so certain of that. I'm one of the people responsible for the way things are now. I destroyed the Fal'Cie, along with Snow, Hope, Sazh and..." Goddammit. I was trying _not_ to think of those two. It still hurt knowing that they had to sacrifice themselves for the good of Cocoon. Maybe it hurt because I was secretly wishing I was the one in their shoes.

She seemed to notice my pain, because she looked up at me with a hurt expression, "We've all lost people we love," she said.

_Lightning, you ass. You're not the only one who's lost friends._ After thinking about it, I remembered that Lebreau had probably lost more on the Hanging Edge than I had during my entire journey.

"Sometimes I wish I could take their place," I said. I'd never told anyone this thought before. I was afraid people would think I was suicidal, or had some kind of deathwish. The look on Lebreau's face after I had said that told me that she was concerned, but understood.

"If it means anything," she said, looking down at her hands again, "I'm glad you're alive, Light." She looked up at me with this... sincerity in her eyes that struck a cord in me. Nobody had ever said anything like that to me before. Not Serah, not Snow, not Hope, _nobody._ Obviously this didn't meant everybody wanted me dead, this feeling was just... different. A part of me was hoping she would leave it at that. If she had continued, I might have felt a bit more _persuasive_ with my own words.

But nope. She wasn't content at leaving it at that.

"The whole time you were gone, I was worried," she started, rolling the glass in her palms all nervously again.

"Sure, I was worried about Snow, but you were gone too," She glanced up at me for a moment and stopped messing with her glass, "When we returned from the hanging edge, we tried to continue NORA without Snow. I went back to the cafe, but..." her frown twisted into a wavering smirk, like she felt like a fool for saying such things, "but I'd grown so used to seeing you there. Every few nights, you'd stop in, have a few drinks..." She shook her head, "Then we'd talk. You'd tell me about your day, sometimes you'd complain about NORA." The smirk turned into a melancholy smile as she spoke, "I didn't mind though."

_Don't do this,_ I kept thinking. Seeing her sad like that made me feel remarkably guilty, and I wasn't even sure why. I just wanted to see her smile.

She looked up at me as if she'd heard my thoughts, and smiled. "When I saw you back in Eden--" she quickly caught her words as they came out of her mouth, blushed and looked back down, "I mean, when I saw you _and Snow,_" she clarified, "I was overjoyed. I didn't know if you were alive or dead... I just..." She gripped her glass and seemed to be overcome with emotion.

"Lebreau..." I whispered, at that point, I could hardly process a single rational thought. I found myself moving closer to her, pushing her chin up to look at me with my hand, "Everything is going to be fine," I whispered.

She quickly pulled away and rubbed her eyes with one hand while the other held the glass. She was a tough girl, that much was obvious from the start; but if there was one thing I learned about myself, it was that tough girls are the ones with the most pent up emotion. I wasn't the only one with a past to run away from, I just had more convenient distractions to keep me from facing myself. First I had a sister, then school, then a job, the safety of Cocoon, and for a while, a Focus. I kept everyone at arm's length. It wasn't until I allowed people past that barrier that I realized how much easier it was to carry on without all that bottled up emotion.

If I could make another person feel the way I did...

I could see the look in her eyes, it was the same look I used on others when I was too scared to let them get any closer. She was putting up a wall in fear of losing people--in fear of losing _me._

She looked away again, restraining her emotions and fixing her gaze on her hands.

_Don't be scared._

The thought was unconscious, and for a moment, I wasn't sure who it was directed at--her, or _me?_

She looked up at me again, a confused look on her face as she watched my eyes. They were fixed on her, and I couldn't pull them away. I had to change this situation. I wanted her to be happy, I wanted her to understand what it was like to be close to somebody without fear.

"Say something," she whispered, fear and embarrassment in her words.

What was it about her that seemed to tear away any barriers I tried to put up? At the bar, she'd look at me, and I'd feel as transparent as a window. It always felt like she could hear my thoughts--now _there's_ a terrifying thought. If she knew how I felt, I think I would have broken.

Though at that point, I felt as if I could see the part of her that reminded me of myself. Beyond that tough soldier exterior, she was like me. Alone.

As each second passed, the tension in the air was like a growing fire. I felt I would be swept up into it at any moment and be burned alive. No words were spoke, but the exchange was being made. The rift between us was beginning to close, physically and emotionally. We found ourselves next to each other, inches from touching, and gradually growing closer. Each moment felt like an hour until I could feel her bated breath on my lips.

And then it seemed after that, everything went by in a flash.

Nervous hands fumbling, removing clothing, the taste of her skin, the feeling of her tongue, the feeling of the bed beneath me, hands feeling every inch of exposed skin, every nerve catching on fire at that perfect moment, leaving me breathless--

_What on __**earth**__ had I gotten myself into?_

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**It's short, but it's progress.**

**_SSSSSSSSSSSSO GAY FOR CLIFFHANGERS~_**


	4. Revoke

**Dedicated to my muse and my reviewers who keep me motivated. I gotta work early tomorrow, but I decided to crank out this chapter.**

**Also, for those of you who care enough to read this bolded writer's comment, here's some suggested listening while you read--it's what I was listening to while writing it, actually.**

**Liar, by Dragonette**

**This Love Will Be Your Downfall, by Ellie Goulding**

**I might continue with "suggested listening" in each chapter. We'll see.**

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You're driving me insane.

Your face...

Since that, day it's been burned in my mind. When I'm talking with fellow soldiers, when I fight, when I walk into my empty apartment... You're there, reminding me of that burrowing guilt in the pit of my stomach.

_This isn't like me._

Two weeks passed without a word between us. I hadn't seen your face physically, but every time--every _goddamn_ time I look into that mirror. There you are. That shamed look on your face from that night.

I wanted to change things. I wanted to make you happy, I wanted to change myself.

_I'm such a tool._

_"Is there something wrong...?"_

_Shut up._

_"You're sure?"_

_..._

_"Stay."_

_Don't do this to me._

_"If it means anything,"_

_Stop._

_"--I'm glad you're alive, Light."_

_...mistake._

I balled my fist and squeezed it until my knuckles turned white.

_I don't feel anything for her,_ I tried to convince myself.

_I don't feel anything._

I threw down the towel I was using to clean the dirty off my arms. It'd been another long day of work out in Gran Pulse, but when it was all finished, I felt like I'd accomplished nothing. _Just keep fighting, just keep working_, like a mantra it kept circling in my head to block out the visions and words of that night.

_Just... _

_don't feel._

_

* * *

_

_Just... _

_call her._

I shook my head at the thought, and Sazh gave me an odd look. I really needed to pay more attention to my surroundings, "You alright, 'breau?" he asked. I'd become familiar with the older man in the past week. His favorite drink was the Palumpolum Brew, his son was 7, he was part of Lightning's group during the fall of the Fal'Cie, etcetera, etcetera... The only part that seemed to catch my attention were the bits about Lightning he'd divulge every now and then. He seemed to take noticed and would talk about her to catch my attention. I caught on though, and he knew that too. Soon it became his way of teasing me. He'd mention seeing her and eventually he'd started becoming something of a... status update on her for me.

I forced a smile, "I'm fine," I assured. _Toootally fine._

"Maybe you should just call her," he suggested, _obviously_ reading my thoughts.

"I can't, it would ju--" I quickly caught myself and glared at him, I grabbed the small tongs used to grab ice and snapped them at his nose, "Stick your nose where it doesn't belong, and it'll get bitten, Mr. Katzroy," I warned.

He chuckled and back from the bar a bit with his hands up in mock surrender, "I get it, I get it." He smirked, rested an arm on the bar and leaned in, "But in all seriousness, there's something else I've been getting."

"Mr. Katzroy," I said, using the warning tone I generally reserved for Yuj or Maqui as I focused on cleaning glasses again.

He rolled his eyes, "Listen missy, I got about twenty years on you. You should hear what I have to say!"

_dingaling_

My heart skipped a beat as I looked away from Sazh to see who had entered the bar.

"Hey everybody!" came Snow's greeting.

_Oh,_ I thought, the voice in my head and my face both showing my disappointment, _it's just him._

Sazh quickly caught on, "You want me to talk to her, don't you?"

Caught off guard, I quickly changed my expression to something a little less obvious and shook my head, "Talk to _who,_ Mr. Katzroy?"

He gave me an irritated look, "Drop the act--and the formalties. You're making me feel my age."

I sighed and let it go, "No, I don't want to talk to her," I lied.

"I didn't say that," he corrected, "I said you want _me _to talk to her, don't you?"

"That would just complicate things," I said dismissively, "I'll see her at Snow's wedding. If she feels like sorting things out, then _she'll_ talk to _me._"

Sazh gave me a skeptical look and shook his head, "You _really_ don't know Lightning, do you?"

"What do you think?" I asked sheepishly, putting a hand on my hip.

"Alright, alright. I'll leave things as they are for now, but if you change your mind..." He turned sideways in his barstool, preparing to stand but waiting for my response.

"Yes, I know," I conceded with a sigh.

"Good girl," he said, sounding somewhat satisfied as he stood, "Have a good night."

"You too," I mumbled as he walked away.

Snow, who had been entertaining a couple customers with a story, quickly noticed I was free and approached the bar. "Heeey uh... Lebreau?"

_Oh no. He only acts like this if he wants something or did something bad._

I cringed, waiting for him to continue. "Would you uh..." He looked away and scratched the back of his neck,

_Oh god, what did he do this time?_

"Do you think you'd be open to... cooking for the wedding?"

_... what._

I raised an eyebrow at him. Cooking was something I was good at--the people of Bodhum considered me it's "best kept secret," whatever the hell that meant. Asking me to cook shouldn't have been a big deal... so why the awkwardness?

"What's the catch?" I asked, _he better not be expecting me to do this for free._

"Uh, no catch it's just..."

"Just?"

"We've moved the date..."

"... to when, exactly?"

"Um.. well... two days."

I suddenly felt a headache coming on.

"... How many people?"

He paused, his face becoming completely blank. Then he brought up his hand to count each finger, "Uh.. well... roughly twenty--maybe thirty. I really should check with Serah..."

I took in a deep breath and exhale sharply, trying to hold back my anger, "So I have two days to cook for twenty to thirty people?"

"... Yes," he said bashfully with a nod.

"And what exactly do you want?"

"Um.. a cake and..."

".... and?"

"... I really should talk to Serah."

"You're going to be a terrible husband," I said, half teasing. _Half_ teasing.

He laughed off the insult, "I'll have Serah call you in the morning with everything. We've gotta get the rest of the planning ready." I nodded with a sigh and shooed him out of the bar so I could close.

_Two days. Two days until I see her again._

_... And two days to cook for Eden-knows-how-many people._

_

* * *

_

"--ettling further north near Archylte. The massif just south-... Lightning?"

Shaken from my reverie, I quickly turned my attention to the commanding officer. He wasn't nearly as warm as Amodar had been, but with recent, er... "events", he'd grown somewhat cold towards me. The best I could as for was a commander who knew he was weaker than me, and knew he would have to rely on my knowledge of the area to get anywhere. In this was, I was needed by the Guardian Corps--and as much as I didn't like to admit it, I needed to be needed. Even if it was by some snot-nosed captain who hardly knew which hand to salute with and not...

_No. Just stop thinking about it._

_Just don't think about her._

I could feel the subtle ache in my chest as the image of her face returned.

_Just don't feel..._

_

* * *

_

Eager for a new distraction, I called Serah early in the morning to get directions. Half-expecting to wake her up, I was surprised to hear her voice as peppy and bright as always so early.

"Hello!" she said, as if she already knew he was on the other side of the line.

"Serah!" I greeted happily, "It's Lebreau. Your moron--er... fiance told me to talk to you about wedding food."

She quickly recited a list of food she wanted for her big day, with pen and notepad in hand, I balanced the phone between my shoulder and ear as I scribbled down all the details.

"Oh, did Snow mention using the bar for the reception?"

I dropped the pen in froze. Cooking, I could handle. No problem, given enough ingredients, I can whip up just about anything... But cooking and decorating in about one day was a bit much.

"N-No, he didn't," I said quietly.

"It's not a problem is it...?" she asked, sounding worried.

_If I said yes, would your sister kill me?_

"No! No problem!" I quickly said, masking my true feelings on the situation. I needed help, and I needed it fast.

"Great! And would it be okay if I stopped by later with my dress?"

"Yeah! I'd love to see it!"

"Actually... I need it tailored a bit... I-Is that a problem?" she asked, her voice wavering a bit.

_Sh-She really is trying to kill me._

"No, not a problem at all.. haha..." I said cautiously.

"Great! I'll see you then!" _click_

I set the phone back in the reciever and held myself up over the bar with both hands, notepad clutched in one. _There's... so much to do..._

So I did the only thing I could think of. I called for help.

"YUJ! MAQUI!" I yelled up the stairway to the apartment while frantically searching for Sazh's number in the junk drawer behind the bar.

* * *

While directing my little decorators this way and that, I managed to get a cake batter stared between sandwich making.

"Where do you want this one?" Maqui asked for the fourth time in the last 10 minutes. He held up a small glass vase with white and pink flowers sticking out in a simple arrangement, identical to the 15 others on the tables in the bar.

"We have an extra?" I quickly thought about where to place it while mixing the batter and searching for that dammed butter knife I was using for the sandwiches.

"Uh.. put it... I don't care! Just put it somewhere!"

Suddenly in a panic, Maqui did a full 360 turn in search of a place to put the vase. Struck with inspiration, he got on top of one of the barstools to get to the vid screen. He delicately placed the vase on top.

Frowning, I shooed him away to do something more productive with... ribbon or something.

After taking another look at my clumpy cake batter and messy sandwiches, it hit me.

"There's too much to do and not enough of me to go around," I mumbled in despair. I set the batter down and leaned over the bar, holding my face in my hands as I tried to regain my cool.

_dingaling_

Someone entered the bar. I took a look at my watch; not quite late enough for Serah to arrive. Ignoring whoever it was, I waved at them, keeping my head down in my hand, "We're closed today and tomorrow," I said dismissively.

The bustle of the room fell silent as Maqui, Yuj, Sazh and even little Dajh fell sent. I heard insistant footsteps coming closer, and I suddenly got just a _little_ more irritated.

I looked up with my best annoyed-face, but was immediately shot down by what I saw.

"Serah told me you could use some help," Lightning said sheepishly with a smirk.

* * *

**Stay tuned for the next installment of... THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS**

**Not really.**

**Still gay for cliffhangers though.**


	5. Recover

**You guys are too sweet. I love each and every one of my readers--whether you've been following each update, or you just now started reading. Thank you for taking the time to read my silly fanfic.**

**Suggested Listening: Starry Eyed, by Ellie Goulding**

**If you listen and look carefully, you'll spot a line I stole from that song.**

**

* * *

**

Despite how nervous the two of us obviously were around each other, we managed to make a pretty good team. When I would have my hands full, she'd be right behind me to keep me going, whether she was directing the boys in the decorating, or plating sandwiches. Of course, things were still as awkward as can be. We couldn't find it in ourselves to speak of anything outside of the tasks at hand, but every time I found myself bumping into her--the slightest touch made me smile. Being near her made my heart flutter and made it difficult at times to concentrate, but I wouldn't have had it any other way.

"We have all the sandwiches finished," she stated, looking at the line of plates on the bar covered in plastic wrap, "Where should we store them?"

I cast a sideways glance at the small fridge under the bar. There wasn't a chance in Eden that all the food would fit in there.

"We'll have to take it upstairs to my fridge," I said reluctantly. Setting down the bowl of cake batter I'd been stirring, I grabbed three plates, balancing one in one hand and the other two on my arm. Lightning tried to mimic me, but found herself nearly dropping the two plates on her arm. Instead she grabbed two in each hand and followed me. I opened the door to the stairwell and back entrance to the apartment with my free hand and waited for her to pass me.

Once we got upstairs, I opened the fridge to show off how empty it was. Anytime we got out hands on any food, the boys would eat it up in no time. For once, I was kind of glad for that. I placed the plates on the lower shelves and directed Light to do the same. Once we were done, she took a moment to look around the small room. The mattresses were laid haphazzardly, with a small privacy screen separating mine from Maqui and Yuj's that I'd picked up a few days ago. Shame it didn't block noise though.

"So this is where you live, huh?" she asked quietly, sounding almost disappointed.

I frowned. Clothing, weapons, and the boys' stuff, was thrown about in a mess. Past the kitchen there was little room to walk.

"Kind of," I said, "If by live you mean sleep, then yes."

She looked back at me and looked like she was about to say something, but stopped herself.

"We should probably get the rest of the sandwiches," I said awkwardly as I lead the way back downstairs.

Once I reached the base of the stairs, I lost the will to return to my shoddy shared apartment, "Boys!" I called, they all flinched as if they had done something wrong--even Sazh.

"Take these," I said, pointing at the sandwiches, "Upstairs to the fridge."

They quickly and quietly complied, causing Lightning to smirk, "I like the way you work."

I grinned at the compliment, "At least they're good for something."

She smiled and let out a sort of satisfied sigh, "I guess we're done then," she said, looking towards the doorway.

_Crap. How can I get her to stay?_ I wondered. I didn't want our time to end just yet. I eyed the cake batter and grinned. It was a one-person job, but I _could_ make it a two-person job if I tried.

"What about the cake?" I asked.

The look on her face... was she _scared?_

No. Not possible.

"I... I'm no good with baked stuff," she said, shying away from the batter bowl.

"Oh come on," I urged playfully, "Under my direction, you'll do fine."

Her brow furrowed as she thought about it, but finally gave in, "Alright..."

* * *

Good _god_ we went through a lot of cake batter.

The sun had already set, the boys had left to do... whatever it is they did, leaving Lebreau and I to make a mess in her kitchen.

A thin layer of flour covered her hands to her elbows, and she had several spots of white on her face--even a little in her hair. In a way, it reminded me of Serah. Always trying her best to impress me, or whoever else was eating her cooking. It was endearing with her, and even so with Lebreau.

I wiped the perspiration from my forehead as I stirred the fourth bowl of icing for the cake. She was remarkably patient with the number of mistakes I'd made. One involving the classic salt and sugar mix up.

"You got some icing on your forehead," she pointed out while licking the spoon used for the batter.

I leaned towards her as I continued stirring the contents of the bowl, "Get it."

She smirked and went to wipe it away. Her face got somewhat close to mine and I watched as her expression went from normal, to confused, to irritated, all while the wooden batter spoon stuck out of her mouth.

She backed off and took the spoon out of her mouth. "I have too much flour on my hands!" she complained as she went to the sink. I suddenly wondered what my forehead looked like.

She grabbed a towel from the counter and went for my face. I leaned down a bit for the shorter girl and she attempted to wipe away the mess... Except I felt something cold and sticky on the towel. She pulled the towel away and looked at it in shock, then at me. I raised a cautious eyebrow at her, "What did you do to me...?" I craddled the icing bowl in my arm as my free hand went to wipe some of the.. whatever it was, off of me. I looked at the finger I'd swipped across my forehead. Cake batter.

I rolled my eyes and poked Lebreau's forehead with the finger, "Go get a new towel," I told her with a sheepish smile.

Her face turned a bright red and she quickly ran down stairs to the bar.

_What's going on with me?_ I wondered as I set the icing bowl down on the counter, _Earlier today I was trying to convince myself to just... not feel. Now I'm playing house with her?_

"Got one!" she chimed as she reached the top of the stairs. I took it from her and wiped off my face before getting the spot I'd put on her forehead, "There," I said before handing her the towel, "Are the cakes done yet?"

She looked up at the clock sitting on top of the fridge and squatted on her haunches in front of the oven to look through the glass. After assessing them, she looked up at me and held out her hand, "Toothpick!"

I grabbed one of the unused toothpicks from the counter and handed it to her. She opened the oven and I was overwhelmed with the scent of vanilla and chocolate. She poked each cake, making sure the toothpick came up dry each time and held her hand up for me to take the toothpick and hand her the towel. I complied and she carefully took each cake out to lay them out on the counter. There were three total, the large base, the middle sized one, and the smallest one that was to go on the top.

Using the towel to grab each circular ban, she flipped the largest on the counter and then the medium on top of that, and then the smallest.

"This is the fun part," she said with both eyebrows raised in anticipation. She grabbed a knife from a drawer and handed it to me. I tenatively took it from her and gave her a confused look. Surely she didn't expect _me_ to decorate...?

"You get to put the icing on."

_Oh for Odin's sake._

She noticed me falter and grabbed the knife from my hands. She grabbed a huge glob of icing on the knife and slapped it down on the top layer of the cake. She then proceeded to smooth it over the top, then down the side. She grabbed my hand and put the knife in it. With her hands, she guided mine in icing the cake. She let go and I continued for a moment, looking at her for approval after getting some of it down to the middle layer. She smiled and nodded.

* * *

I watched her for a while, pretending to be watching her carefully ice the cake, but in reality I couldn't tear my eyes from her face. Always so cool under pressure, so calm, so... unlike me.

_I don't really stand a chance do I?_

My eyes fell away from her face and my expression grew a bit sadder.

_If I didn't in the first place, then why did we...?_

I refocused my gaze on her face. A part of me was frustrated beyond belief that I couldn't figure out what was going on in that head of her's, but at the same time it was another thing I loved about her.

She glanced at me for a moment, I quickly caught myself staring and looked away. "Are you gonna help or just stare at me all day?" she asked with a smirk, keeping her eyes fixed on the cake.

_How obvious can I get?_ I wondered as I exhaled sharply, "I'm just... making sure you're--" I stopped mid sentence upon seeing the messy, half-finished cake.

_... Too late._

"Making sure...?"

"Uh... Well, making sure you're doing a good job."

She smirked and shook her head, "If that's true, then why didn't you just do it in the first place?"

_Oh crap._ "S-So... you could have practice?"

I tried.

I really did.

But my excuse was so full of holes that I was practically spelling out why I wanted her to "help" in the first place. I was half expecting her to hand me the knife and leave, instead she did the opposite. She smiled wryly and continued to ice the cake, "Practice for what, exactly?"

"Wh.. Uh... Practice for icing cakes, of course! I plan on openning a bakery!"

_What?? What the hell did I just say?!_

She glanced at me with apparent interest and continued to work on the cake, getting her face remarkably close to make sure it was even... at least on that side. "A bakery huh?"

_Set her straight, Lebreau. Tell her the truth. Tell her why you wanted her here--tell her you want her._

"Yeah! I love baking and stuff, so why not?"

_Hopeless._

She turned the cake around so I could see the other finished side. It wasn't perfect, but compared to the side she'd started on, it was an improvement. I grinned to show my appreciation and took the knife from her to lick off the icing. She gave me a look that seemed to say "You dork. Save some for me." I loved it.

"What about the bar?" she asked, sounding a bit concerned. We'd finally found a topic outside of the tasks at hand to discuss. Too bad the whole thing was a lie to avoid what I _really_ wanted to talk about.

I pretended to consider it for a moment, then found a convenient way out of the lie, "Well, I can't just leave it. It's NORA's source of funding after all..."

"You could quit NORA, you know," she suggested, thought secretly, I could tell that's what she would want--at least I thought. "But on the other hand, they _do_ seem to rely on you," she added.

"Yeah," I said with a smile, "They really do."

She smiled again and looked at the cake, "They're not the only ones who rely on you, you know."

My heartbeat quickened as I hung on her words and that smile--_god, _that smile. It was enough to turn me into a puddle.

_Just say it. Tell her you don't want to continue through this awkward phase. Tell her you're sorry, tell her you love her, tell her anything. Just say __**something.**_

I didn't know if she was too shy to continue, or if she was content at letting me assume what she meant. She seemed to tease me further by licking a bit of icing off the side of her finger as she stared me down. Well, she probably didn't mean to stare me down but every moment she spent looking at me, it was like she was hitting me with--

"Lightning."

She raised her eyebrows a bit to show I had her attention.

"I--" I caught my breath as it left me, why couldn't I speak? Why now--when it mattered the most?

"I don't... want to go on like this..." The words felt like they took an eternity to come out. I was sure my face was red, and my heart was pounding so hard it was starting to ache.

Her expression grew stoic, almost to the point of coldness.

_Just say __**something.**_

_**

* * *

**_

**Are the cliffhangers getting worse, my darling readers?**


	6. Reception

_**Who are we to be emotional?  
**__**Who are we to play with hearts and throw away it all?  
**__**Oh, who are we to turn each other's head?  
**__**Who are we to find ourselves in other people's beds?  
**_

_****__****__****__****__**Oh I don't like the way I never listen to myself,  
**__**I feel like I'm on fire,  
**__**But I'm too shy to ask for help**_

_**I don't think you warned me much at all**_

_**This love is be and end all  
**__**This love will be your downfall**_

**[Ellie Goulding, This Love]**

**The end is in sight, my readers. I hope I don't let you down.**

**

* * *

**

"So you're telling me all this decorating was for nothing?" I asked, not bothering to mask the shock and anger in my voice. I had spent most of the night cleaning everything up and fixing the decorations the boys had attempted to set up. I was running on about three hours of sleep, the high heels were starting to hurt my feet, and I still hadn't picked up the flowers--not to mention I couldn't get that damn pink haired soldier out of my head. To top things off, that same woman had changed things without notice.

"You know as well as I do that Lightning's motives don't always make sense," Sazh said with mild irritation. He seemed almost as frustrated as I was. She had pulled some strings and rented a hotel's reception hall for both the ceremony and after party.

I let out a sigh and collected my thoughts while Sazh was still there, "Alright, fine. What about the food?"

"The hotel's catering service will be by to pick it up any minute, since the wedding isn't until late, Light arranged rooms for most of us."

"How in the world...? How can she afford all this?" I asked in confusion. Sure, Lightning wasn't struggling financially, but she didn't seem to be doing _that _well on a Guardian's salary.

Sazh shrugged, "Like I said: She pulled some strings. Maybe she had some friends there or something."

We were both silent for a moment, considering the notion that Lightning would ask friends for such huge a favor.

"On second thought," Sazh blurted, "she probably threatened a few people."

I snickered, "I don't know if she'd go quite that far."

Sazh looked away nervously, "I dunno. I've seen how far she'll go for her sister..."

"... Good point."

Sazh laughed, "Alright, I'll be by to pick you up later, missy," he said as he made his way for the door. He was my "date" for the wedding. I nodded and waved as he took his leave.

Exhausted, I waited for the catering service in the bar after Sazh left. I sat down in one of the booths and rested my head on the table, dozing off until two men in uniform came knocking on the door. The caterers came and left, taking the sandwiches and messy cake with them. Shortly after, Sazh returned, dressed in his nice tuxedo and looking sharp. I on the other hand was a little frazzled looking. My hair was falling all over my face, my dress was a disheveled, but nothing unfixable.

"You ready?" Sazh asked with a soft smile on his face as he extended his arm for me to take.

I quickly replaced the pins in my hair and straightened the dress out as best I could. "Ready!" I declared before taking his arm with a stupid grin. He chuckled and lead the way out.

The entire ride, I found myself staring outside, lost in thought.

* * *

_"I..."_

_"I don't... want to go on like this..."_

_The look on her face caused my body temperature to shoot up. When did I turn into such a wimp?_

_"We don't have to," she said quietly, the cold expression her face unwavering as she spoke. It sent a chill down my spine, and I suddenly regretted saying anything at all. I fought the increasing heat behind my eyes and nodded._

_"Yeah, you're right..."_

_

* * *

_

Pink and white flowers hung on the ends of each row of chairs where the guests sat. The bride was in her tailored white dress, the groom in his black tuxedo with his matching groomsmen at his side. Hope, then Sazh, then Gadot. While Lightning stood opposite of Hope, I stood across from Sazh, and one of Serah's friends I hadn't become acquainted with stood next to me.

The wedding went by without a hitch. Not that I would have noticed. The entire time I spent standing next to her, I hardly tore my gaze from Sazh. I needed a distraction, and my "date" was the best I could get. Both he and Gadot on Snow's side cast me concerned glances over the duration of the short ceremony. Next thing I knew, the bride and groom were kissing, and everyone was cheering. I smiled at the two of them. I couldn't help but be jealous at how lucky they were to have each other.

"Congratulations," I said to both Snow and Serah, offering them hugs. The couples left in turn to the reception hall, arm in arm, with the newly wedded couple at the end. After that, the guests followed and the party began. It was then that I found myself staring at her again. Unlike me, she wasn't being lead around the dancefloor by her date and the boys of NORA. Each on tried to engage me in conversation, but each time I would unintentionally strike it down with a monotonous response.

After Yuj had taken his turn with me, I attempted to sit, only to be met with the groom himself.

"May I have this dance?" he asked, bowing and offering his hand dramatically.

I crossed my arms and smirked at him, "What about your bride?" I asked.

He stood up straight and thumbed in the direction of where she was dancing. With her sister.

I couldn't help but laugh a little at the sight of Lightning leading her sister in a waltz around the dancefloor. Oddly enough, she didn't seem _too_ awkward. She was smiling softly at her sister as Serah spoke and would offer a nod in response.

I took Snow's hand and allowed him to take the lead.

"I haven't had a chance to thank you for all your hard work," he started with a bashful smile. Now _there's _a word I never thought I'd use to describe Snow Villiers.

I shook my head and smiled back at him, "It was the least I could do."

He gave me a serious look, "Don't even try to be modest like that. Without you this whole thing would have fallen apart."

I smirked a little, "Well if Miss Farron hadn't gone and changed things on me, it might have gone a bit smoother," I joked.

"Haha, well, that's Lightning for you. Unpredictable."

"Yeah. No kidding," I said softly.

* * *

_Despite the distant look on her face, I wasn't stopping myself. I was tired of living in fear of her, constantly terrified at very word that I was going to say the wrong thing and chase her away. I didn't want to run away from her anymore, I didn't want to run from my feelings, I didn't want to dodge the subject anymore. I knew what I wanted, and I was tired of being __**scared.**_

_"Light," I froze. "I don't want... I... I lo..."_

No. Dammit, no! Don't stop! Just say something!

_So I did the only thing I could think of: I grabbed her by the straps on her jacket and pulled her into a kiss._

_Maybe not the smartest thing in the world, but she wasn't resisting. We stood there for a few moments, lips pressed together before I heard a light knock at the door of the apartment. I broke the kiss and let go of her jacket. Seeing puzzled look on her face sent a wave of vertigo over me and I thought I would fall over._

_"C-Come in," I quickly called as I tore my eyes from her. _Did I make another mistake?

_The door opened and Serah tentatively entered with her wedding dress, "Am I too la-Lightning?"_

_I looked back at the soldier, hoping to whatever maker was out there that my face didn't spell out how insecure I was feeling at that moment. She seemed as composed as ever, but something seemed... off._

_"Serah," she greeted softly, "I was just leaving."_

_

* * *

_

**Hmm... Do you think this cliffhanger is as bad as the others? Worse maybe? Review please!**


	7. Resolve

**Oh~! Could it be?  
****Mmyes, we've reached the end of our rather **_**long**_** respite, dear readers. How will things turn out, I wonder...?**

**Also, Lady B's got something in store for you at the very end, so be sure to read the final author's comment...**

**

* * *

**

"You haven't been yourself lately, Claire," Serah said softly as I guided her across the dancefloor. I winced a bit as she used my given name but I also understood that she reserved "Claire" for when she wished to discuss something particularly important on her mind.

"What do you mean?" I asked, feigning ignorance. Despite how intuitive my sister was, I didn't expect her to figure out I'd had two one-night-stands with Lebreau.

"I know that since we, well, came back, things haven't been easy for you. You were a Pulse l'Cie, and people still treat you like that."

Admittedly yes, that was part of my problem.

"But there's something else," she said looking into my eyes. The almost _pained_ look on her face wasn't fitting of a blushing newly-wed bride. That familiar guilty ache in the pit pf my stomach returned and I forced a soft smile and shook my head, "Serah, I'm _fine_," I assured her. But she wasn't convinced. She gave me a stern look and moved in closer, lacing her fingers behind my neck as if to prevent me from backing away. The music had changed from a waltz to a slower song for couples. I figured it would have been more fitting for Serah to dance with her groom, but even he was busy dancing with someone--Lebreau, actually.

"Light," she said, using my _preferred_ name as if to gain my favor. She sighed and looked down at our feet for a moment before looking back up at me, "You can't keep running away."

_Don't start._

"I know I've said that you can put off your problems until another day, but Light..."

"Serah..." I said, trying my best to make it seem like there _really_ was nothing off. I should have known better.

"Claire," she said, using a warning tone with me. I cringed again and shook my head, "There's nothing to discuss, Serah. Not tonight--this is _your_ night."

She smirked, "Yes, and I plan on spending it with my husband. But you, Lightning..."

I sighed. She really wasn't going to let it drop.

"You're not the only one your actions are affecting."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked cautiously, clearly she knew more than she was letting on.

She looked down at our feet again, then back up at me, "I was listening at the door last night."

I jerked back in response, but as planned, Serah had her hands firmly locked to keep me from...

_From running away..._

"She loves you, Light," she said softly.

I didn't think my face could get any redder. I suddenly could hear Snow's voice much closer to us than I had before. He was talking to Sazh about ten feet away at a table--but where was Lebreau?

"Last night when you left," Serah continued as my eyes searched the room.

* * *

_"It's just a little loose around the... well.. chest," I explained as I emerged from the bathroom. I looked up to see Lebreau leaning against the counter, clutching a towel until her knuckles were white while the other was wiping away frustrated tears._

_"Lebreau?" I called softly. She quickly wiped away her tears with the towel and sniffled before turning to face her guest._

_"Yes?" she said, acting as if nothing was off. She forced a smile, "Let me get my sewing kit."_

"She hardly spoke a word the entire time I was there," Serah explained quietly, "When I asked her what was wrong, she would dodge the subject.

_Where is she...?_ I thought in frustration, trying to keep my attention on both my sister and finding Lebreau.

"Then I brought you up."

I looked at her with full attention, I wasn't liking where things were going...

* * *

_"Did Lightning ice the cake?" I asked, trying to put a smile back on Lebreau's face as she attempted to fit the dress. She offered a curt nod in response as if trying to dodge the subject again._

_"I could tell," I said with a giggle, "She never really had any talent for stuff like that."_

_"Don't say that," Lebreau quickly cut in, "She really..."_

_I could tell I struck a hard note with that last comment--but at least I had found a bit of clarity._

_"She really did her best," she said, pausing in her sewing as she fought tears, "She really... wanted to do a good job for y... for you, Serah."_

You idiot,_ I thought,_ How could you just leave her in a mess like this?

_"You're probably right," I quickly chimed in, "It doesn't matter if it's the prettiest cake."

* * *

_

"I don't know what you did," she started, "But you hurt her."

_"If it means anything... I'm glad you're alive, Light."_

I needed to find her.

Serah pulled me into a hug and she whispered into my ear, "Go get her."

The look on my face must have spelled it out. I nodded and quickly went over to Snow, leaving Serah on the dancefloor by herself.

"Where is she?" I interrupted his conversation with Sazh.

"I told him that--wait, where's who?" Snow blurted.

Sazh gave me a knowing look and thumbed in the direction of the door, "She left about five minutes ago. You'll catch her if you rush."

I could feel my face growing hot--exactly how many people could see what was going on between us? Not Snow apparently.

"Who? What's going on?" Snow asked frantically.

I shook my head at him, "Go dance with your bride," I said dismissively.

He raised an eyebrow and shrugged, "Whatever you say, sis. Go get 'em."

* * *

_Smooth one, Lebreau, _I scolded internally, _forgetting to get a key from Yuj._

I knew where my head was. I could hardly pull my eyes, much less my mind from her. As she circled the dancefloor with her sister, she circled my mind, torturing me, making my stomach do flips as I remembered the mistakes I'd made.

I pushed the door of the receptional hall open, and almost ran into the same soldier making rounds in my head.

"L-Light!" I blurted, taking a step back in surprise.

Her face was a light pink, but her usual cold expression was plastered on that face of her's. In fact, she almost looked _angry._

She took another step forward, and I in turn took another step back to get out of her way, head hung in embarrassment. "Sorry," I murmured.

"What are you sorry for?" she demanded. Her loud voice shocked me a little in the quiet hallway.

_Just don't say anything. You'll just wind up embarrassing yourself again._

Instead, I kept my eyes down and waited for her to pass me by. However, she didn't seem so intent on leaving.

She tipped my head up with her index finger and brought her lips down on mine.

_What... What's going on...?_

We stood there for a few seconds, before she pulled away. She looked down at me, her expression a bit gentler this time. She grabbed my hand and pushed the door to the reception hall open slightly.

"May I have this dance?"

* * *

_**Goodness**_**... What could **_**possibly**_** be in store for our heroines?**

**If you're curious, take the dive and visit Lady B's LiveJournal for the **_**hidden**_** epilogue written for your eyes alone~  
****ladyanyablack (dot) livejournal (dot) com, or you can just click that little homepage link on my profile.**

**Thank you, dear readers for sticking with me through this journey; I would just **_**love**_** to hear your final thoughts, comments and critiques in the reviews--whether they be positive or negative.**

**All my love,  
****Lady B**


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